Most decent, law abiding people in this country were appalled, sickened and dismayed at the London riots this week; and the escalating violence, theft and thuggery displayed by a small minority of individuals.

We know that the riots were sparked by a tragic death. However, I think we can all agree that the backlash which caused millions of pounds worth of damage isn’t justified. But what can the decent majority DO about this?

The majority of law abiding citizens (despite the austere economy), should continue to pull together to keep the UK thriving and competitive. Most people aren’t wimping out and and grabbing what they can. They are prepared to work hard to pull this country up from it’s boot straps, no matter what!  Still, discussion will continue as to the cause, but destroying small businesses in the High Street isn’t helping.

Most people are not taking to the streets on a violent Flash Mob rampage. 

Laughing whilst innocent people watched their homes and livelihoods burn to the ground wasn’t the act of a disaffected youth.  It’s the act of selfish criminals.  

The people who did this do not represent the majority.

The rioters do not speak on behalf of the nation. The rioters do not represent thousands of decent young people who are making a contribution.  

The rioters, plain and simple, are criminals.  They have no pride. Thousands and thousands of people are working long hours to keep a roof above their head.  They are doing everything they can to survive.  They do the decent thing. They aren’t sitting at home playing computer games and whingeing about how society has let them down. 

Let’s be clear on a few things:-

• This isn’t Libya. This isn’t Syria where the quality of life and civil rights are virtually non-existent.  Making comparisons between these riots and the Arab Spring is frankly misguided. Sadly, however, here in the UK many rioters will escape with a slap on the wrist or a suspended sentence. Unlike our Syrian cousins who are facing tanks and machine gun fire for daring to express a legitimate protest.
• The rioters made the excuse the ‘we were only targetting rich people’.  Excuse me – someone running a corner shop couldn’t exactly be described as rich – especially if that person works 90 hours a week!
• Those so called ‘rich people’ create jobs that feed families! !
• Those so called ‘rich people’ pay taxes that pay for things like Youth Services!
• The rioters said “We’re bored. There’s nothing for us to do.”  Again – that is utter crap!  If they really wanted to do something worthwhile they would find it, whether it was volunteering,  or having the guts to start their own business – yes even at 14!  If you want to achieve something – you can find a way.
• There aren’t enough jobs for them.  They need to take a look around them.  Well, I am sorry to break this to you, but it’s tough for everyone right now.
• This crime spree was partly driven by technology.  But correct me if I’m wrong, but I didn’t realise that if you’re under-priveleged you can still run amok with a Blackberry Smart Phone?

If ever there was a time for decent people to show some courage, and press on regardless despite these selfish and thoughtless acts by mindless vandals, it’s now.  Because the rioters are wrong!  Wanton looting fuelled by greed doesn’t have any part to play in British society.  The 100′s of people who turned out this morning to sweep up afterwards clearly demonstrates that. 

In my opinion these riots are an utter disgrace and a stain on the British character.  We’ve all worked hard to establish Great Britain as a decent place to live – the latest incidents sadly could threaten the Olympics.  Don’t let that happen. 

Boris Johnson had the last word.  He said that London retains it’s spirit and stands resolute against this threat.  So should the rest of England.

I’ve been thinking this week.  What does it really take to finally step up and to take a seat at the winners table?

I think this is a common challenge for many people with aspirations to be successful.  They may have tons of talent but the one thing standing in their way is paradoxically their own self belief (or lack of).

How can you accept the recognition you deserve – when you still feel the urge to justify your existence on the planet, by conforming  to everyone else’s definition of success? This could be even more of a challenge if you are in the process of completely reinventing yourself or are in the middle of a career change just now.  Lots of people are by the way, so you’re not alone.

I’ve met many people (myself included) who’ve changed directions and spent way too much time focusing on making themselves ready. They’ve done the work but still fret about what everyone else thinksof them.  They’ve spent thousands of hours perfecting their skills yet still yearn for the ‘thumbs up’ – the validation that says “OK You’re in”.  But who says that you need anyone else’s approval anyway?  What qualifies another person to validate your existence?  When all you need to do is just claim it.

I’ve met dozens of ’Course Junkies’ who will never ever be ready.  They’ve spent a small fortune on endless  workshops and seminars, but continually invent excuses as to why they’re still not ‘stepping up’; they just don’t seem to be able to take the leap to greatness. Why is this…?

As very small children we have no problems accepting ourselves.  We fearlessly smile at strangers, are effortlessly funny, ask for what we want and assume we will be nurtured and loved unconditionally.  We haven’t the slightest hint of doubt about who we are.  Until, that is, an authority figures in our life – e.g. someone who we respect (teacher, parent, guardian) who either deliberately or unintentionally reprogrammes the perfectly good working model we have been given until our brilliance fades away. 

Women in particular are masters at  conforming to what they think is normal all in the name of pleasing others.  This new ’version’ then is hard-wired into their psyche until they forget who they really are.  Over time we may get occasional fleeting glimpses of this great person we’ve lost. 

But peer pressure is a very powerful thing…

For example, take one of my clients who’s inner ‘Goddess’ (for want of a better word) was trying desperately to put in an appearance.  Goddess  found an outlet at parties and was ’allowed out’ to have some fun but only because she could blame it on the alcohol.  Her husband just didn’t want this other person around and over the years he chipped away with snide comments and accusations until she was permanently gagged.

Eventually however, she did eventually let Goddess back into her life, and she’s never looked back, because essentially it was the real her anyway!  Now she feels more in the flow than she’s ever been in her life, and isn’t fighting or in denial about herself.  She doesn’t have to apologise, she doesn’t have to adapt or conform any more to please someone else.  It took a while to acknowledge this truth, but she knew she couldn’t go on any longer pretending she was someone else. Oh and by the way…her husband is now her ex-husband.

Think about this – your personality is eternal and completely unique - and just like a snowflake – perfect in every way; or it was before someone else came along and tainted the image. 

So…your challenge this week if you’re struggling with taking yourself to where you really want to go, is to say to yourself… “I was born great.  I was Born Ready.  I am Enough” – and when a certain person behaves in a way which diminishes you in some way, either by their words, their body language or the look in their eyes – all you must do is think “You may well believe that, but I know I was born ready, I was born great… Because I said so!”

Share your thoughts here

If there’s one thing that has been demonstrated to me, over and over and over – both in my own life and in the life of my coaching clients - is that stress is essentially an environment thing.  Perhaps you’re stressed and feel ‘tired and emotional’.  You might assume that the only way of solving it is to go into therapy for a few months (or years).  But essentially you have two choices.  You could either spend a lot of time focussing on your feelings  and looking for a deep-rooted cause, or you could look at it another way.  Just get organised, be a pragmatist and create an environment that supports your life.

Examples of supportive environments include your finances, a car that works, a supportive family, a house that’s well run, a nice working environment, a fully stocked freezer, a place for everything, a healthy digestive system, supportive, genuine friends (!) and personal habits and a diet that support you so you’ve got enough energy to cope with what life throws at you.  Get the idea??

I’m not talking about the stress associated with the breakup of a relationship, death of a child, or a long term illness. That’s different.  I want to make it clear that in these scenarios would require a different approach.

But for some episodes of stress and anxiety – you might not need to go down the road of looking at the past, or exploring some deep-rooted issues (let’s face it, we’ve all got issues haven’t we?!).  Because you may delude yourself into thinking you have a faulty gene that’s suddenly triggered depression, which needs urgent medical intervention or a spell in The Priory. 

Let me give you an example.  Picture this – you’re marriage is on the rocks, your husband comes home and announces that he’s £100,000 in debt, he’s doing nothing about it, except sits and watches the TV every night.  You’ve been a stay at home mum for 25 years and devoted everything you have to your family.  Now you’ve got the twin worry of massive debts, a failing marriage and you’ve lost your confidence because you thought that you’d be happily looking forward to slowing down and preparing for retirement, not looking for a job.

Instead, you’re not sleeping, you can’t eat and you’re worried sick about the future.  Every night you cry yourself to sleep and you’re smoking far too much and drinking more than you should.  The combined effects of lack of sleep, poor diet and no future are a hefty cocktail, guaranteed to affect your thinking and ability to solve the problem.  Your first thoughts might be to seek out a therapist to ‘make you feel better’, and calm your fears. 

The problem is that women tackle problems in the same way.  Because we are all a bit clannish, we sit and chat about stuff – but get very cross when our partners go and tell us how to solve the problem.  Those interfering Men From Mars again! But men have a point.  Quit whingeing and DO SOMETHING! 

So, if you’re sat there wondering why all this stress is doing your head in, and nobody cares, and it’s all everyone else’s fault and you’re fed up and, this and that and blah blah blah.  Stop!  They are just excuses.  Excuses that stop you from being in charge of your own life.  Nobody is going to wave a magic wand and make it better.  Maybe it’s time to take stock, take responsiblity and create your own future – by taking some action.  

The easy way out is to go and get tea and sympathy.  But there’s only so much of that to go around.  And the trouble is, it’s addictive!  You end up becoming a bottomless pit of need which can never be filled!  What is needed here is a plan, the courage to act on it, and the opportunity to take control of your own life.  This creates hope, confidence and enthusiasm. 

Three magic words.  Hope, confidence and enthusiasm.  When you’ve got those, you can conquer the world!

If’ you’ve got stress in your life, I’ve a FREE resource that can help you get started called “The Busy Mum’s De-Stress Pack“ which is a quick and easy e-book containing 10 strategies which are the cornerstone of my book, and taken from the work that I’ve done with some of my Coaching clients who were suffering with stress.  Click here to take a look at a short video about this e-book. 

“People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone” Audrey Hepburn

Jimi Hendrix once said  “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace”

What can you do with the people you can’t deal with, who’ve disappointed you, hurt  you or you just don’t understand?

I was talking with one of my clients this week who was a bit stressed after visiting her parents.  My client sometimes struggled to understand why her parents spent their days being miserable.  They tolerated things that were unacceptable or clearly needed fixing.  Because they were from a different generation, anything remotely associated with Self Development wasn’t really their thing either.   Each time my client visited them she would leave feeling sad and frustrated because they were constantly complaining about something or other, doomed to go round and round in circles, but refusing to accept any help.  Being unable to DO anything to help them, despite the fact that she didn’t like to see them suffer, was really painful for her.

So I’ve  introduced her to ‘Pink Love Bombs’.  Love Bombs are fluffy bundles of energy that you send to people with just your intention or thoughts.  A friend of mine introduced me to this strategy that she used with someone in her life who she wasn’t getting along with.  She puts it this way…

“To be honest I’m not sure that the person I was sending love bombs to really changed, but in my head I could release the tension a little, as I’d stopped focusing on my negative feelings towards them and focused on positive love! Not easy at all, but it’s all just a state of mind isn’t it?  By being angry / frustrated / upset, I was only hurting myself.”

You can send Love Bombs  using the power of your mind and with pure intention to those people in your life who may disappoint or frustrate you. You may care for them, but perhaps the relationship is experiencing problems. There may be a yawning chasm of misunderstanding between you which you are unable to reconcile.  But when you send positive, affirming energy to others, this energy expands and invites more energy, and positive experiences into your life.  Don’t we always feel so much better when we do something for others – no matter how small or seemingly insignificant…?

From a personal point of view, recently I  experienced a big disappointment in my life, and felt really sad about one particular person who let me down. There was nothing I could say or do to change things.  So I’ve decided to adapt the Love Bomb approach and do a variation on a theme and send a  ‘Blue Forgiveness Bomb’ to them instead.  In fact I sent an aerial bombardment, just to make sure.   I can’t change what’s happened between us, but least it will help me let go of any negative energy and be at peace with the situation.

Then I got thinking.  Let’s not stop there! You could actually have a lot of fun with this idea.  What about sending Orange Energy Bombs?   You can send one to someone close to you who’s not feeling too great.  You may feel helpless or guilty because you aren’t able to do anything for them because you have too much going on in your own life.  We can’t always be in a position to help those less fortunate than ourselves, – but you could  send them energy or love bombs instead!

What about Silver Peace Bombs - we all know that war only creates death, victims and perpetuates hatred; let’s lob a few peace bombs to a war zone instead. The possiblities are endless!

Do you get the idea?

So instead of hurling abuse or getting even (and giving yourself a stomach ulcer and raised blood pressure by the way), send a Love Bomb! What about sending one to the traffic warden who’s just given you a parking ticket and has refused to accept your explanation as to why you’re one minute too late getting back to you car? Perhaps your struggling to understand or connect with your kids, or they’ve temporarily gone off the rails.  You might not like or condone their behaviour but you can still send them love.

Let’s carpet bomb the whole world with Love Bombs! 

It might sound a bit of a Hippie concept and too ‘far out’ for you of course, but that’s fine.  But they say that if you ruthlessly and deliberately bombard someone with enough positive energy, even someone who’s not being particularly nice to you, eventually you will break down their resistance and they won’t be mean to you for very long.   Let’s face it, nobody could resist a shower of Unconditional love bomb-lets could they? Could you?? 

This isn’t the same as being a toad, a doormat or giving insincere flattery- plus its having the courage to walk away from and not be sucked into negative circumstances.

Unconditional love  asks nothing in return and has no agenda.   Give a hardened criminal enough unconditional love and allow them to feel good about themselves, and eventually you can turn their life around. 

“People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone” Audrey Hepburn

Go ahead send a Love Bomb to someone and let me know what happens  – leave your comments here!

I’m sorry to have to break it to you, but yes – shit happens.  Isn’t it true that at some point in your life, you’ll meet some extremely challenging circumstances, e.g. relationship breakdown, wayward children, financial meltdown, friendship problems, death, sporting failure, extreme hardship and business catastrophes.  And in a very bad year, you could get several tons of shit dumped on you all at once.  Yeah, bring it on!

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Let’s consider the recent case of Raoul Moat.  Moat became Britain’s most wanted man after shooting his former girlfriend, Samantha Stobbart, killing her boyfriend Chris Brown and shooting PC David Rathband in the face. His crimespree came to an end a week ago, when he apparently killed himself following a six-hour standoff with police in Rothbury.

He had reached a point where he felt that the whole world was against him.  But in his quest to ‘be right’ he probably came up against an immovable object – his own attitude.  But unfortunately, for every action there is a reaction – which for him had fatal consequences. 

From my own personal perspective, I put myself through hell (entirely due to my own choices and behaviour) after my marriage broke down several years go.  I lost my home, all my friends and most of my belongings.  I literally left with only my clothes and a radio!  I had to start all over again, in a new town at the age of 33 with nothing.  All I had on my side was my landlady, who I rented a room from, and the very shaky support from my family.  It took me a long time to work out why all this had happened to me (and what I needed to change). Fortunately, I eventually found my way out of the maze and got my life back, but it was tough.

The intensity with which I was pointing the finger and scrutinising in minute detail, the shortcomings of everyone around me, plus the negative language that I was using further indicated that I had given myself very few, or no options at all. Phrases such as “it’s not fair” or “I’ve got nothing left” – left me very little room for manoeuvre.

But that was just focusing on the hole instead of the doughnut.  It’s the self defeating, victim talk that took my power away, sending me down the slippery slope of self destruction.  It took a while for me to crawl back up again.

Granted the case of Raoul Moat is an extreme example of someone who was prepared to do the ultimate – shoot themselves – in an effort to prove that he was right and thus remain a victim till the end.  However, one thing he overlooked in his strategy was a reluctance to accept any responsibility for his part in the tragedy that unfolded before him.  His short term, warped thinking led him to take someones life, blind a policeman and seriously injure his former partner. 

Some say he died a hero and a legend and even a Facebook Page was set up in his memory. But that is an insult to the many unsung heroes out there who, every day,  find a way to lead meaningful, purposeful lives with what little resources they have at their disposal.  Being a hero usually involves some display of courage at some point. And the definition of courage means doing something for someone else and making a selfless sacrifice of some kind.

But when you wake up and get conscious of your choices and the decisions that you alone can make, and take responsibility, you put yourself back in the driving seat.  Easier said than done? For the person on the edge how is that possible?

You could look at your options or spend the rest of your life pointing the finger, waiting for everyone else (i.e. friends, children, spouse, boss, employer, government, best friend) to change – or do something different.  Change your attitude.

I love this story of Naval intransigence.  A Warship challenged another vessel on it’s radar, and asked it to alter its course.  They refused to comply so the Warship resorted to issuing a direct order for the vessel to alter their course.  It was only when the object on the radar announced “this is a lighthouse” – that the warship took evasive action thus preventing it from foundering on the rocks.

In Brief Solution Focused Therapy and NLP  solutions and language are explored which offer a wider range of options in scenarios that could raise your blood pressure and where you find yourself ‘behaving badly’.  Because when you have options you’re less likely to paint yourself into a corner. 

The need to be right and refusing to embrace any other options may have it’s roots in fear, or lack of confidence and trust in others to state your case in a calm and rational manner.

Prisons are full of individuals who’ve spent their entire lives running away from themselves.  They’ve abdicated responsibility for their actions and never really woke up – but continued with their unconscious lurch from one disaster to the next, and leaving a trail of destruction behind them.

But what if you’re facing a challenge, that in no small way is actually more to do with your attitude?  What if you would prefer to hold onto this attitude because the notion of letting go would be to admit defeat? 

Here are some suggestions…

1. Take yourself out of the situation.  Go for a walk, spend some time alone to reflect and gather your thoughts
2. Ask yourself – what role do I play in all this?
3. Get some honest feedback from others
4. When you receive the feedback – examine it calmly
5. Don’t React. Respond
6. Change your language from fear based to “what if” “if I had the resources” “how can I change things” “what do I need” or even “let’s make this work”
7. Ask yourself “if I had the resources I wanted how would the outcome be different”?
8. Accept that for every choice and decision you make there will be a consequence, which you must take responsibility for – even if things don’t go your way
9. Ask yourself “If I let go of how I am feeling (just for today) and welcomed other options, how could that change things?”
10. What I am not accepting about this situation?
11. Detach from the outcome.  You may want something with all your heart, but if its not your time – let it go
12. What drama is your attitude creating in your life right now?
13. By allowing the scenario to continue in its present form – what does that actually achieve?
14. What are you going to do about that – what are your options?
15. Who can help you resolve the situation?

Basically, all it boils down to is a simple fact.  Shit happens, but when you change your attitude, everything else changes.  The ‘Elephant in the Room’ could be you.  Having the courage to change your attitude for some of us might be translated as ‘giving in’ or ‘losing’ – but for the man or woman who finds the strength to do it – it opens the door to that which which we all seek.  Peace of Mind.

At 24 Raphael Nadal has once more become the Single Handed Champion of the World by winning this years Mens Singles Title at Wimbledon. 

The Spaniard has been my favourite tennis player since he first burst onto the tennis scene a few years ago.  Characterised by his sheer physical presence and dominant play, this humble and unassuming champion is an unrelenting opponent who is very difficult to beat.

But what is it about him that has secured his place as the world no. 1 Tennis Champion?   This despite the fact that at this year’s Wimbledon tournament, I don’t think he played that well.  In his match against Andy Murray for instance, it could have gone either way. In this match he actually served less aces and in other matches he only just scraped through 5 sets to get to the next round.  BUT as one of the commentators in one of his matches very astutely pointed out; under the close stewardship of his Uncle and Coach, Toni Nadal, Raphael has the resources within himself to come through.  He does whatever it takes to win.

Last year he was all but written off by some people after a knee injury robbed him of the opportunity to defend his Wimbledon title.  However, he played well enough to beat  the big czech Tomas Berdych in the Mens Singles Final in straight sets this year.  Nadal charges around the court like a bull, and like a matador uses his mind and skill to create opportunities to defeat his opponents. 

So it’s clear here that becoming a winner can often be a rocky road.  

Question. What is it that’s missing from your success strategy that could – if you borrowed an idea from successful people,  lead to success in your life and career – even you are up against it right now?

1. Decide 

When you make a decision, when you choose a path – that is probably one of the most important decisions you will ever make.  Making that mental shift and deciding on the outcome you want, and being absolutely clear about that is the first, but very crucial step

2.     Don’t get sucked into the negative energy

Have you ever been in a situation where you have literally or figuratively fallen flat on your face?  How long did you allow the feelings of disappointment, anger, or humiliation stay with you?  Get Over it. Move on.  Because the longer you let these feelings hang around, the more time you’re wasting which could more usefully be employed to propel yourself towards your objectives. 

3.   It’s all about your language

One thing I need to get clear on right away.  You are what you think you are, all day long.  Meaning that what you think about – you are!  So, the words that you choose to describe your current circumstances (i.e. rubbish, crap, terrible, loathsome, awful, a nightmare) are all words that have energy attached to them – and energy expands.  And when it expands it touches other people. OK it’s fine to use these words occasionally, especially if it gets a laugh, but choosing these words on a routine basis to describe yourself, or your circumstances are self fulfilling.  Choose other words that are more empowering i.e. (challenging, interesting, amusing, temporary). 

4.   Associate with other winners

Do the people you are in regular contact with share the same beliefs and values as you?   Listen to their conversations…are they talking about the terrible weather the awful traffic, how dreadful they feel, all the time?  And do you join in?  If that’s the case…then don’t go there!  Decide to change your mind and find people who talk in more positive and affirming terms.  Or shine a light somewhere for someone else and more will follow you.

5.   Spread your influence

Do you have an opinion? Are you awake and switched on enough to be in the driving seat of your life and career?   Do you care about something passionately enough to fulfil your life’s purpose? Or are you sitting waiting for the world to come to you to rescue you instead?  When you get in touch with your own success intelligence, and think, talk  and act in a way that is inspiring to others, you in turn elevate your profile and your influence.  Progress and success is like a fire.  Without energy being directed towards it to keep the flames alive – it will go out.  That energy can only come from one place – you!

6.   Push Push Push

Raphael Nadal literally throws himself around the tennis court.  He is almost unstoppable.  Sometimes there is no substitute for literally rolling up your sleeves and when you’re up against it, just getting on with it.  If your response to challenge is howls of outrage or moaning about how awful  everything is, this just puts you right back into the victim’s corner.  Yes tough times do come along for everyone; but I know it sounds so simple, but how you deal with something says more about you as a person than the circumstance itself.  So push against things, use the challenge to demand more, ask for more, give more and think more intelligently. 

7.   “It’s never over until the last point is played”

…said a Wimbledon contender who’d just been knocked out of the tournament.  She battled on until the very last point was played.  On the day it didn’t go her way – but it might well have.  So go the extra 2 miles instead of the extra 1 mile, get up an hour earlier, work an hour longer, apply your mind, make a sacrifice somewhere, refuse to give up, decide not to give in and look for other opportunities.  Making a resolution with yourself.  Write it down.  Never stop. Never give in. Ever.  That’s energy!

8.  Rediscover your success intelligence

Sometimes when difficult times come along this is precisely the time not to back off, panic or start to doubt yourself.  Because way down there somewhere, hidden away in some dark recess of your mind, resides the key to your success.  Sometimes this quality is only activated during times of extreme duress. When the pressure is so colossal that you may fear that you will disintegrate under the strain – centre yourself, go to that place and ask it some questions.  Wait for the answers – it may surprise you.

What’s your special secret for staying successful? Share it here and shine a light for someone else.  In the meantime I’m looking forward to more tennis in the Autumn at the World ATP Tour. Vamos Nadal!

I’m on my own personal 30 Day Challenge, and I’ve thinking about the support from friends and associates that I’ve received over the past few years.  I’ve reflected with gratitude on the generosity, kindness and time they’ve given to me. 

And I am now asking myself what I in turn do for others, rather than focussing purely on my own challenges, hopes and desires.

This week we’ve been celebrating 70 years since Dunkirk.  The ‘miracle of deliverance’ for over 330,000 troops rescued from the beaches on France.  A  flotilla of vessels comprising thousands of pleasure cruisers, holiday steamers and fishing boats were requisitioned and sent to France with hastily conscripted ratings made up of ordinary men and women.  They were given a naval ranking for just one month to do the unthinkable – rescue thousands of soldiers retreating from the advancing German army in the summer of 1940.

Amongst them was my Grandfather Harold.  He ran a rope making factory in Brixham with his wife Dorothy.  He had strong links to the sea having spent the early part of his career as a Navigator in the Merchant Navy.  He volunteered to go with his pleasure cruiser, normally reserved for taking what he called the ‘Gin & Tonic’ brigade out into the solent at weekends.  We never called him Grandad – possibly because of his links to his experiences at Dunkirk we gave him the nickname ‘Grenade’.

We each of us, no exceptions – at some point in our lives are faced with our own ‘Dunkirk’ – running away, or retreating from failed relationships, illness, career disasters and financial catastrophes for example. 

And if you’re lucky, two or three brave souls will step forward to rescue you offer advice, support or a shoulder to cry on.

During the Second World War,  the retreating British soldiers, once they reached Dunkirk and the sea - were given renewed  hope.  A renewed strength to keep going – despite hunger, thirst and exhaustion.

In these pressing times brought on by the recession – not only is it your duty to yourself and others not to give up – but to look beyond to the horizon.  Because the future beckons. 

When you focus your thoughts on the future,  regardless of what is the reality today – you open up your mind for signs and new ways of dealing with an ongoing problem.  And when you do this, you can manifest more options and create opportunities.  Thus when you feel more hopeful you can then take action.

These signs may not be a ship, but it could be a hunch, an opportunity out of the blue, or some reassuring words from a friend.   We all need that spark that keeps us going when all seems lost.

So, my question is do you have that Dunkirk spirit…?  And if you’ve got it, what’s your mission to help someone else?  Today we call it ‘random acts of kindness’ don’t we?  But at the end of the day it’s the same thing.

Winston Churchill, in his rousing speeches may have had only words at his disposal to rally the nation.  What words and actions can you call forth to support, encourage and motivate someone in your life who’s stranded on the beach with no hope of deliverance?

For my Grandfather, his holiday excursion to hell was accompanied by an aeriel bombardment and machine gun fire.  Despite this he was able to rescue a handful of soldiers, but was himself rescued by a Destroyer when they got into difficulties on the way back.

Safely on board he asked the Commander “what’s going to happen to my little ship?”  – the Commander turned to him and said “I’ll tell you what we’ll do”…and turned the guns on his little boat and blew it out of the water.  He used to tell us this story when we were kids – so whether he embelished the story slightly to make it more exciting we’ll never know as he passed away in 1979.

In the middle of a crisis – the loss of his boat was actually a rare moment of of levity.  They were just relieved to be picked up by the Navy and returned home safely.

So – even if you think you haven’t got the time, the resources or the energy – what’s YOUR mission in life to help other people?

Leave your comments below – I’d love to know!

Day 11 of The 30 Day Challenge

Sometimes you just have to step away from the computer and recharge, do some physical things to give your brain a bit of a rest.  If that means gardening, sport, walking, or even dancing then it is one way that you can actually be more effective.  

I’m normally spend quite a lot of time in front of my computer, but I gave myself some time out to watch The Eurovision Song Contest last night.    If you’re not from the UK you’re probably wondering what Eurovision is.  Well, it’s cult viewing as far as I’m concerned, even more so as they incorporated Flash Mob into the proceedings last night…I just can’t stop dancin now! 

Go take a look

Today is all about positive language, positive thinking, positive action.

I have to admit that sometimes I join the ‘glass half’ full brigade and it can be a difficult habit to break.  You may genuinely feel that a current  ‘reality’  cannot be changed, no matter how hard you try. 

Therefore being positive, sometimes might just smack of being totally unrealistic and frankly stupid. 

But here’s a little video from one of my sporting heroes – Chris Boardman,  that puts a slightly different slant on things.  This might help you when you’re not feeling positive about where your life or work is going right now…

Watch the video.  Share you thoughts.

 “It’s not where you start it’s where you finish”?  so the song goes…meaning that you don’t necessarily have to START OUT as a winner, but provided you make the decision to be one – you can acquire the  necessary skills along the way. 

It’s Day 5 of my personal 30 Day Challenge, and this weekend I’ve been looking at my attitude.  Let’s face it we could all use something to give us a kick in the pants when we start feeling sorry for ourselves.  However, sometimes it’s worth stepping back to look at the big picture and reflect.  So yesterday I deliberately stepped off the roundabout for a day to rest and recharge the batteries.

I’ve started to read a book called “Winning” by Frank Dick, O.B.E. former director of Coaching for British Athletics.  He talks about the difference between Valley people and Mountain people.   Valley people seek the calm and comfortable ground of shelter, safety and security – their concept of achievement is ‘not losing’, and belong to the ’woulda, coulda, shouda’ brigade. 

Mountain people however, have decided that valley life is not for them and seek to test ambition on the toughest climbs.  They know that there is rich satisfaction in reaching the top and the fight that’s needed to get there.

Whilst reading I also learnt something very interesting from Miroslav Vanek, former President of the International Federation of Sport Psychologists.  He did a comparison studay between motivation and talent.  What was evident from his study that the most talented athletes did not have the same high level of motivation as the less gifted, who had to learn to deal with defeat.  Therefore, those athletes who had not had the chance to develop a resilience to defeat – “a resilience they would need in the senior arena where every athlete, no matter how able, sooner or late faces defeat, because their abilities had never been challenged. These athletes had never stretched themselves” .

He goes on to say that the less talented athletes had been obliged to learn, to adapt, to fight, to bounce back.  They had learnt to face change. 

In my particular line of work, there has been a lot of change, I’ve had to think of how I can adapt – whilst still applying all the knowledge and skill I have acquired over the years.  It became clear to  me whilst reading this book (and I haven’t finished it yet), that essentially we all have inherent talents and attributes, but that’s only half the equation. 

What I took from this is that in actuality – it’s my own personal attributes – which are applied in the field to overcome obstacles, regardless of what product or service I’ve produced.  Without these attributes I would be unable to handle myself in challenging times, deal with change or setbacks.  Without it - I would be blaming my circumstances, or feel a victim or powerless in the face of these external influences. 

I had to admit to myself – that yes as a kid I was talented - but as to whether or not I had it within myself to accept defeat was something else.  Then I recalled the time I was selected to trial for my County as a sprinter.  On the day I didn’t even get a chance to compete because I slipped and fell flat on my face at the start line.  Speechless disapointment followed.  Then there was the time I was unable to successfully defend my long jump title because I delivered 3 ‘no jumps’ in a row, and walked away in tears.  Then there was the really disappointment of being beaten into 3rd place by .5cm at an important long jump event, and therefore missing out on the All England Championships later that season. 

Sure I probably did allow those things to ‘hang around’ for a few days – before having a meaningful discussion with my Coach and looking for alternatives or ‘finding the positives’ in the situation – which I eventually did. 

So…whenyou translate that into business, think about this.  You’ve got a great product or an amazing service.  But that’s not enough.

In order to pass the winning post first requires a decision to work on yourself as well.  You may only be running a business part-time or have only just started, or you’re about to diversity, but consider yourself as a mountain person.

• Concentrate on what’s important.  Whatever discomfort or sacrifice or inconvenience you are experiencing NOW may be temporary – but the short term pain will be worth it in the long run
• Commit to being a professional and aim for excellence.  Ask yourself from now on “how can I add value – how can I be even better”. 
• Go the extra mile in all areas.  What would the best of the best be thinking and doing right now?
• Believe in yourself first  – work with a trusted adviser, mentor or coach.  Plaster your house with slogans that tell you you’re amazing.  Stay away from the dream stealers and their tiny minds.
• Be flexible to changing circumstances and be open to new opportunities.  Even difficulties have within them potential profitable opportunities
• Be organised - treat your business and yourself as a professional at all times – even if nobody can necessarily see everything going on in the background – remember you’ll know which is just as important