“Confidence. You Were Born Great. Your Were Born Ready. Because You Said So”

I’ve been thinking this week.  What does it really take to finally step up and to take a seat at the winners table?

I think this is a common challenge for many people with aspirations to be successful.  They may have tons of talent but the one thing standing in their way is paradoxically their own self belief (or lack of).

How can you accept the recognition you deserve – when you still feel the urge to justify your existence on the planet, by conforming  to everyone else’s definition of success? This could be even more of a challenge if you are in the process of completely reinventing yourself or are in the middle of a career change just now.  Lots of people are by the way, so you’re not alone.

I’ve met many people (myself included) who’ve changed directions and spent way too much time focusing on making themselves ready. They’ve done the work but still fret about what everyone else thinksof them.  They’ve spent thousands of hours perfecting their skills yet still yearn for the ‘thumbs up’ – the validation that says “OK You’re in”.  But who says that you need anyone else’s approval anyway?  What qualifies another person to validate your existence?  When all you need to do is just claim it.

I’ve met dozens of ’Course Junkies’ who will never ever be ready.  They’ve spent a small fortune on endless  workshops and seminars, but continually invent excuses as to why they’re still not ‘stepping up’; they just don’t seem to be able to take the leap to greatness. Why is this…?

As very small children we have no problems accepting ourselves.  We fearlessly smile at strangers, are effortlessly funny, ask for what we want and assume we will be nurtured and loved unconditionally.  We haven’t the slightest hint of doubt about who we are.  Until, that is, an authority figures in our life – e.g. someone who we respect (teacher, parent, guardian) who either deliberately or unintentionally reprogrammes the perfectly good working model we have been given until our brilliance fades away. 

Women in particular are masters at  conforming to what they think is normal all in the name of pleasing others.  This new ’version’ then is hard-wired into their psyche until they forget who they really are.  Over time we may get occasional fleeting glimpses of this great person we’ve lost. 

But peer pressure is a very powerful thing…

For example, take one of my clients who’s inner ‘Goddess’ (for want of a better word) was trying desperately to put in an appearance.  Goddess  found an outlet at parties and was ’allowed out’ to have some fun but only because she could blame it on the alcohol.  Her husband just didn’t want this other person around and over the years he chipped away with snide comments and accusations until she was permanently gagged.

Eventually however, she did eventually let Goddess back into her life, and she’s never looked back, because essentially it was the real her anyway!  Now she feels more in the flow than she’s ever been in her life, and isn’t fighting or in denial about herself.  She doesn’t have to apologise, she doesn’t have to adapt or conform any more to please someone else.  It took a while to acknowledge this truth, but she knew she couldn’t go on any longer pretending she was someone else. Oh and by the way…her husband is now her ex-husband.

Think about this – your personality is eternal and completely unique - and just like a snowflake – perfect in every way; or it was before someone else came along and tainted the image. 

So…your challenge this week if you’re struggling with taking yourself to where you really want to go, is to say to yourself… “I was born great.  I was Born Ready.  I am Enough” – and when a certain person behaves in a way which diminishes you in some way, either by their words, their body language or the look in their eyes – all you must do is think “You may well believe that, but I know I was born ready, I was born great… Because I said so!”

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