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“Shit Happens – Just Change Your Attitude”

July 18, 2010 in Uncategorized by Wendy | 4 comments

I’m sorry to have to break it to you, but yes – shit happens. Isn’t it true that at some point in your life, you’ll meet some extremely challenging circumstances, e.g. relationship breakdown, wayward children, financial meltdown, friendship problems, death, sporting failure, extreme hardship and business catastrophes. And in a very bad year, you could get several tons of shit dumped on you all at once. Yeah, bring it on!

Click here for the Audio Version Of This blog

Let’s consider the recent case of Raoul Moat. Moat became Britain’s most wanted man after shooting his former girlfriend, Samantha Stobbart, killing her boyfriend Chris Brown and shooting PC David Rathband in the face. His crimespree came to an end a week ago, when he apparently killed himself following a six-hour standoff with police in Rothbury.

He had reached a point where he felt that the whole world was against him. But in his quest to ‘be right’ he probably came up against an immovable object – his own attitude. But unfortunately, for every action there is a reaction – which for him had fatal consequences.

From my own personal perspective, I put myself through hell (entirely due to my own choices and behaviour) after my marriage broke down several years go. I lost my home, all my friends and most of my belongings. I literally left with only my clothes and a radio! I had to start all over again, in a new town at the age of 33 with nothing. All I had on my side was my landlady, who I rented a room from, and the very shaky support from my family. It took me a long time to work out why all this had happened to me (and what I needed to change). Fortunately, I eventually found my way out of the maze and got my life back, but it was tough.

The intensity with which I was pointing the finger and scrutinising in minute detail, the shortcomings of everyone around me, plus the negative language that I was using further indicated that I had given myself very few, or no options at all. Phrases such as “it’s not fair” or “I’ve got nothing left” – left me very little room for manoeuvre.

But that was just focusing on the hole instead of the doughnut. It’s the self defeating, victim talk that took my power away, sending me down the slippery slope of self destruction. It took a while for me to crawl back up again.

Granted the case of Raoul Moat is an extreme example of someone who was prepared to do the ultimate – shoot themselves – in an effort to prove that he was right and thus remain a victim till the end. However, one thing he overlooked in his strategy was a reluctance to accept any responsibility for his part in the tragedy that unfolded before him. His short term, warped thinking led him to take someones life, blind a policeman and seriously injure his former partner.

Some say he died a hero and a legend and even a Facebook Page was set up in his memory. But that is an insult to the many unsung heroes out there who, every day, find a way to lead meaningful, purposeful lives with what little resources they have at their disposal. Being a hero usually involves some display of courage at some point. And the definition of courage means doing something for someone else and making a selfless sacrifice of some kind.

But when you wake up and get conscious of your choices and the decisions that you alone can make, and take responsibility, you put yourself back in the driving seat. Easier said than done? For the person on the edge how is that possible?

You could look at your options or spend the rest of your life pointing the finger, waiting for everyone else (i.e. friends, children, spouse, boss, employer, government, best friend) to change – or do something different. Change your attitude.

I love this story of Naval intransigence. A Warship challenged another vessel on it’s radar, and asked it to alter its course. They refused to comply so the Warship resorted to issuing a direct order for the vessel to alter their course. It was only when the object on the radar announced “this is a lighthouse” – that the warship took evasive action thus preventing it from foundering on the rocks.

In Brief Solution Focused Therapy and NLP solutions and language are explored which offer a wider range of options in scenarios that could raise your blood pressure and where you find yourself ‘behaving badly’. Because when you have options you’re less likely to paint yourself into a corner.

The need to be right and refusing to embrace any other options may have it’s roots in fear, or lack of confidence and trust in others to state your case in a calm and rational manner.

Prisons are full of individuals who’ve spent their entire lives running away from themselves. They’ve abdicated responsibility for their actions and never really woke up – but continued with their unconscious lurch from one disaster to the next, and leaving a trail of destruction behind them.

But what if you’re facing a challenge, that in no small way is actually more to do with your attitude? What if you would prefer to hold onto this attitude because the notion of letting go would be to admit defeat?

Here are some suggestions…

Take yourself out of the situation. Go for a walk, spend some time alone to reflect and gather your thoughts
Ask yourself – what role do I play in all this?
Get some honest feedback from others
When you receive the feedback – examine it calmly
Don’t React. Respond
Change your language from fear based to “what if” “if I had the resources” “how can I change things” “what do I need” or even “let’s make this work”
Ask yourself “if I had the resources I wanted how would the outcome be different”?
Accept that for every choice and decision you make there will be a consequence, which you must take responsibility for – even if things don’t go your way
Ask yourself “If I let go of how I am feeling (just for today) and welcomed other options, how could that change things?”
What I am not accepting about this situation?
Detach from the outcome. You may want something with all your heart, but if its not your time – let it go
What drama is your attitude creating in your life right now?
By allowing the scenario to continue in its present form – what does that actually achieve?
What are you going to do about that – what are your options?
Who can help you resolve the situation?

Basically, all it boils down to is a simple fact. Shit happens, but when you change your attitude, everything else changes. The ‘Elephant in the Room’ could be you. Having the courage to change your attitude for some of us might be translated as ‘giving in’ or ‘losing’ – but for the man or woman who finds the strength to do it – it opens the door to that which which we all seek. Peace of Mind.

Tags: coping with adversity, coping with change, definition of a hero, Help For Heroes, Lt Corporal Matthew Croucher, raoul moat facebook page, resolution coaching, self belief, starting a business, wendy dashwood-quick, working from home

“The Tennis Matador. Find A Way to Win – No Matter What It Takes”

July 4, 2010 in Self Confidence, Sport, self development by Wendy | No comments

At 24 Raphael Nadal has once more become the Single Handed Champion of the World by winning this years Mens Singles Title at Wimbledon.

The Spaniard has been my favourite tennis player since he first burst onto the tennis scene a few years ago. Characterised by his sheer physical presence and dominant play, this humble and unassuming champion is an unrelenting opponent who is very difficult to beat.

But what is it about him that has secured his place as the world no. 1 Tennis Champion? This despite the fact that at this year’s Wimbledon tournament, I don’t think he played that well. In his match against Andy Murray for instance, it could have gone either way. In this match he actually served less aces and in other matches he only just scraped through 5 sets to get to the next round. BUT as one of the commentators in one of his matches very astutely pointed out; under the close stewardship of his Uncle and Coach, Toni Nadal, Raphael has the resources within himself to come through. He does whatever it takes to win.

Last year he was all but written off by some people after a knee injury robbed him of the opportunity to defend his Wimbledon title. However, he played well enough to beat the big czech Tomas Berdych in the Mens Singles Final in straight sets this year. Nadal charges around the court like a bull, and like a matador uses his mind and skill to create opportunities to defeat his opponents.

So it’s clear here that becoming a winner can often be a rocky road.

Question. What is it that’s missing from your success strategy that could – if you borrowed an idea from successful people, lead to success in your life and career – even you are up against it right now?

Decide

When you make a decision, when you choose a path – that is probably one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Making that mental shift and deciding on the outcome you want, and being absolutely clear about that is the first, but very crucial step

2. Don’t get sucked into the negative energy

Have you ever been in a situation where you have literally or figuratively fallen flat on your face? How long did you allow the feelings of disappointment, anger, or humiliation stay with you? Get Over it. Move on. Because the longer you let these feelings hang around, the more time you’re wasting which could more usefully be employed to propel yourself towards your objectives.

3. It’s all about your language

One thing I need to get clear on right away. You are what you think you are, all day long. Meaning that what you think about – you are! So, the words that you choose to describe your current circumstances (i.e. rubbish, crap, terrible, loathsome, awful, a nightmare) are all words that have energy attached to them – and energy expands. And when it expands it touches other people. OK it’s fine to use these words occasionally, especially if it gets a laugh, but choosing these words on a routine basis to describe yourself, or your circumstances are self fulfilling. Choose other words that are more empowering i.e. (challenging, interesting, amusing, temporary).

4. Associate with other winners

Do the people you are in regular contact with share the same beliefs and values as you? Listen to their conversations…are they talking about the terrible weather the awful traffic, how dreadful they feel, all the time? And do you join in? If that’s the case…then don’t go there! Decide to change your mind and find people who talk in more positive and affirming terms. Or shine a light somewhere for someone else and more will follow you.

5. Spread your influence

Do you have an opinion? Are you awake and switched on enough to be in the driving seat of your life and career? Do you care about something passionately enough to fulfil your life’s purpose? Or are you sitting waiting for the world to come to you to rescue you instead? When you get in touch with your own success intelligence, and think, talk and act in a way that is inspiring to others, you in turn elevate your profile and your influence. Progress and success is like a fire. Without energy being directed towards it to keep the flames alive – it will go out. That energy can only come from one place – you!

6. Push Push Push

Raphael Nadal literally throws himself around the tennis court. He is almost unstoppable. Sometimes there is no substitute for literally rolling up your sleeves and when you’re up against it, just getting on with it. If your response to challenge is howls of outrage or moaning about how awful everything is, this just puts you right back into the victim’s corner. Yes tough times do come along for everyone; but I know it sounds so simple, but how you deal with something says more about you as a person than the circumstance itself. So push against things, use the challenge to demand more, ask for more, give more and think more intelligently.

7. “It’s never over until the last point is played”

…said a Wimbledon contender who’d just been knocked out of the tournament. She battled on until the very last point was played. On the day it didn’t go her way – but it might well have. So go the extra 2 miles instead of the extra 1 mile, get up an hour earlier, work an hour longer, apply your mind, make a sacrifice somewhere, refuse to give up, decide not to give in and look for other opportunities. Making a resolution with yourself. Write it down. Never stop. Never give in. Ever. That’s energy!

8. Rediscover your success intelligence

Sometimes when difficult times come along this is precisely the time not to back off, panic or start to doubt yourself. Because way down there somewhere, hidden away in some dark recess of your mind, resides the key to your success. Sometimes this quality is only activated during times of extreme duress. When the pressure is so colossal that you may fear that you will disintegrate under the strain – centre yourself, go to that place and ask it some questions. Wait for the answers – it may surprise you.

What’s your special secret for staying successful? Share it here and shine a light for someone else. In the meantime I’m looking forward to more tennis in the Autumn at the World ATP Tour. Vamos Nadal!

Tags: All England Lawn Tennis Championships, coping with adversity, discover yourself on the yellow brick road, finding your purpose, getting over redundancy, Home of Lawn Tennis, Mens Singls Final 2010, Raphael Nadal, resolution coaching, self employment, self esteem, small business coahcing in Essex, success strategies, Tennis Coaching, wendy dashwood-quick, wimbledon 2010, working from home

30 Day Challenge – Day 3 – Think Positive

May 24, 2010 in Uncategorized by Wendy | No comments

Today is all about positive language, positive thinking, positive action.

I have to admit that sometimes I join the ‘glass half’ full brigade and it can be a difficult habit to break. You may genuinely feel that a current ‘reality’ cannot be changed, no matter how hard you try.

Therefore being positive, sometimes might just smack of being totally unrealistic and frankly stupid.

But here’s a little video from one of my sporting heroes – Chris Boardman, that puts a slightly different slant on things. This might help you when you’re not feeling positive about where your life or work is going right now…

Watch the video. Share you thoughts.

Tags: 30 day challenge, allison marlowe, Chris Boardman, coping with adversity, coping with change, coping with the recession, discover yourself on the yellow brick road, executive coaching in essex, positive thinking, resolution coaching, self employment, self esteem, small business coaching in essex, wendy dashwood-quick

“Winners: Are You A Mountain Or A Valley Person?”

May 24, 2010 in Uncategorized by Wendy | 8 comments

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“It’s not where you start it’s where you finish”? so the song goes…meaning that you don’t necessarily have to START OUT as a winner, but provided you make the decision to be one – you can acquire the necessary skills along the way.

It’s Day 5 of my personal 30 Day Challenge, and this weekend I’ve been looking at my attitude. Let’s face it we could all use something to give us a kick in the pants when we start feeling sorry for ourselves. However, sometimes it’s worth stepping back to look at the big picture and reflect. So yesterday I deliberately stepped off the roundabout for a day to rest and recharge the batteries.

I’ve started to read a book called “Winning” by Frank Dick, O.B.E. former director of Coaching for British Athletics. He talks about the difference between Valley people and Mountain people. Valley people seek the calm and comfortable ground of shelter, safety and security – their concept of achievement is ‘not losing’, and belong to the ’woulda, coulda, shouda’ brigade.

Mountain people however, have decided that valley life is not for them and seek to test ambition on the toughest climbs. They know that there is rich satisfaction in reaching the top and the fight that’s needed to get there.

Whilst reading I also learnt something very interesting from Miroslav Vanek, former President of the International Federation of Sport Psychologists. He did a comparison studay between motivation and talent. What was evident from his study that the most talented athletes did not have the same high level of motivation as the less gifted, who had to learn to deal with defeat. Therefore, those athletes who had not had the chance to develop a resilience to defeat – “a resilience they would need in the senior arena where every athlete, no matter how able, sooner or late faces defeat, because their abilities had never been challenged. These athletes had never stretched themselves” .

He goes on to say that the less talented athletes had been obliged to learn, to adapt, to fight, to bounce back. They had learnt to face change.

In my particular line of work, there has been a lot of change, I’ve had to think of how I can adapt – whilst still applying all the knowledge and skill I have acquired over the years. It became clear to me whilst reading this book (and I haven’t finished it yet), that essentially we all have inherent talents and attributes, but that’s only half the equation.

What I took from this is that in actuality – it’s my own personal attributes – which are applied in the field to overcome obstacles, regardless of what product or service I’ve produced. Without these attributes I would be unable to handle myself in challenging times, deal with change or setbacks. Without it - I would be blaming my circumstances, or feel a victim or powerless in the face of these external influences.

I had to admit to myself – that yes as a kid I was talented - but as to whether or not I had it within myself to accept defeat was something else. Then I recalled the time I was selected to trial for my County as a sprinter. On the day I didn’t even get a chance to compete because I slipped and fell flat on my face at the start line. Speechless disapointment followed. Then there was the time I was unable to successfully defend my long jump title because I delivered 3 ‘no jumps’ in a row, and walked away in tears. Then there was the really disappointment of being beaten into 3rd place by .5cm at an important long jump event, and therefore missing out on the All England Championships later that season.

Sure I probably did allow those things to ‘hang around’ for a few days – before having a meaningful discussion with my Coach and looking for alternatives or ‘finding the positives’ in the situation – which I eventually did.

So…whenyou translate that into business, think about this. You’ve got a great product or an amazing service. But that’s not enough.

In order to pass the winning post first requires a decision to work on yourself as well. You may only be running a business part-time or have only just started, or you’re about to diversity, but consider yourself as a mountain person.

Concentrate on what’s important. Whatever discomfort or sacrifice or inconvenience you are experiencing NOW may be temporary – but the short term pain will be worth it in the long run
Commit to being a professional and aim for excellence. Ask yourself from now on “how can I add value – how can I be even better”.
Go the extra mile in all areas. What would the best of the best be thinking and doing right now?
Believe in yourself first – work with a trusted adviser, mentor or coach. Plaster your house with slogans that tell you you’re amazing. Stay away from the dream stealers and their tiny minds.
Be flexible to changing circumstances and be open to new opportunities. Even difficulties have within them potential profitable opportunities
Be organised - treat your business and yourself as a professional at all times – even if nobody can necessarily see everything going on in the background – remember you’ll know which is just as important

30 Day Challenge – Day 2 – Results!

May 21, 2010 in Uncategorized by Wendy | No comments

So it’s the end of Day 2 and here’s a quick video…

Tags: coping with adversity, coping with change, discover yourself on the yellow brick road, finding your purpose, getting over redundancy, procrastination, resolution coaching, self belief, self development, self employment, starting a business, wendy dashwood-quick, working from home

Get Organised. Get Organised. Get Organised

May 20, 2010 in Uncategorized by Wendy | No comments

Day 1 Of the 30 Day Challenge –

Get Organised

Today I’m beginning the 30 Day Challenge – the mantra of which is “Don’t Take No For An Answer”.

My Coach has challenged me to step up and positively use the next 30 days to effect big change. Refusing to take no for an answer does’t necessarily mean asking for more from others, it’s challenging myself to do more and to push myself to stretch the boundaries and step up.

But you have to start somewhere, so today I’m dealing with the basics – paperwork. This is the foundation of all that follows – because you can’t do great things when your disorganised.

How organised are you? Is it a constant battle to stay on top of all that paperwork? Are you getting frustrated and then feeling bad about yourself because nothing’s getting done?

Today (and yesterday in fact) – I had a blitz of my office. Brain fog and confusion are usually accompanied by piles of paperwork, lost files and a general feeling that I’ve lost control of my desk.

There’s nothing worse than being surrounded by mess.

It may be annoying having to stop and sort things out but in the end it’s the only way. This might seem a tad unorthodox – but I literally gather everything together, dump it on the floor and sift through it all meticulously and either file it, shred it, throw it away, put into new plastic folders of different colours. I then ensure they have a ‘home’ – i.e. a concertina folder so I can get to them easily. AND every time I do this I usually find the one thing that I REALLY need. Funny eh?

For instance, I am currently planning a training course and I found a very important piece of research material that I knew was somewhere, but couldn’t quite lay my hand on it. And sure enough it turned up yesterday (phew!).

The whole point of getting organised is that when you do, it provides a beneficial environment for you to operate at your optimum. Wading through piles of paper every day to find things is not a good way to be.

NOW if you’re the kind of person who HATES tidying up, because you find it boring, stressful or it just makes you want to have a lie down in a dark room – draft in some help. You can hire a VA or a temp for 2 hours a week to do all this for you. Pay your kids to help out. What about turning off your computer, drag yourself away from Facebook and Twitter for half a day and instead, put on the radio and just do it!

How about this…book the time in your Outlook to get organised. Get up extra early and do this before the day starts. I’ve organised my office in my pyjamas before now, then got ready for my day and returned to my desk with a real feeling of calm.

If you’ve not read my book, on page 29 are 23 ways to work more efficiently which I’ve recreated here:-

23 Ways To Work More Efficiently

Sort and open your post daily: five minutes a day may be easier to find than one hour a week. Separate between action pile’ and ‘naff pile’.
Deal with any urgent bills or issues straight away, and then file.
Make a space for all ‘pending’ items – a place on the bureau or a file in the kitchen – and make sure it is checked every day.
Group meetings or visits to customers/clients together so that you aren’t wasting travelling time.
Use your Satellite Navigation system. Enter the destination and log the travelling time required so that you can calculate precisely when you need to leave.
Organise your business cards – buy a big A4 diary and every time you meet someone new, staple the business card in the diary, with a little note next to it. This might seem a bit old fashioned but my friend Brett swears by this one!
Clearly label files and folders for all your projects, and colour code them if that helps.
Clear your desk at the end of each day.
Colour code your meetings in your Outlook Calendar or use a day planner.
Always prepare bags, documents and directions for the following day, the night before.
Use a task list. I use an A5 workbook and write down my tasks for the week every Sunday evening. Each day I use a different coloured highlighter pen for those tasks. I cross through each task as it’s completed and usually most things get done. It’s a great feeling! Anything that isn’t completed is carried over to the next list. Curiously there’s never more than 20 items on the list each week, although any more than that I would go into overload. Sometimes the simple strategies work best!
Divide larger tasks into smaller ones, organise all the paperwork and prioritise – I call this planning to plan.
If you find it hard to stop when you get going on a project (even to eat), use a timer to bleep when time’s up. Remember if you’re hungry and thirsty, you won’t think straight.
Organise your domestic arrangements if you work from home, to maximise the most of your time. Don’t be a slave to the ironing, or try to be a domestic goddess by insisting that you do things the same way you always have. Ask yourself, what’s more important for you to be doing right now? Get a cleaner or hire someone to clean your oven for instance, instead of doing it all yourself.
Think – is this the best use of my time and will it help me reach my objectives? If not, delegate it to someone else if you can afford to.
Use a ‘save up’ or ‘wish list’ for projects that you can’t start straight away by placing a concertina folder close at hand for your projects and documents so you can find them.
Schedule your shredding! Organise a shredding basket, and allocate a designated time to shred, or shred daily rather than leaving it all to pile up.
Tear off the address panel from letters and instead of shredding the whole letter, just shred the address!
Designate a ‘recycling facility’ in your garage to sort the paper, tin, bottles, cardboard, paper, newspaper and recycle little and often.
Use only one diary, better still use an electronic diary system on your phone that synchronises with your computer on a daily basis – e.g. a Blackberry.
If you’re having trouble sleeping, rather than lay there feeling anxious, switch the light on or get out of bed and do some planning, write an article, write some lists, brainstorm. Once you’ve downloaded your thoughts onto paper, you’ll soon fall back to sleep!
At the beginning of each year, sit down with your spouse and plan your time together, e.g. holidays, family events, and important anniversaries
Turn your spouse into a VIP – book a date with them on a regular basis and ensure that absolutely nothing else is booked in its place – it could save your relationship

So…I’m getting organised. Are you?

More soon from my progress on The 30 Day Challenge soon

Tags: discover yourself on the yellow brick road, entrepreneurs, procrastination, resolution coaching, starting a business, time management, wendy dashwood-quick, working from home, writers block, writing

How To Up The Volume On Your Self Belief

April 27, 2010 in Uncategorized by Wendy | No comments

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Have you ever faced a situation which required you to dig deep to find the courage, stamina and self belief in order to take on a new challenge, overcome a massive disappointment or grasp the biggest opportunity you’ve ever been given in your life?

If you had an aura of absolute certainty and conviction around you, what would that do for you? Would it be useful to feel as steady as a rock, no matter what setbacks you faced?

I watched Jonathan Ross interview Barbara Streisand last year. He asked her about the downside of being famous and how difficult it must be to get out and lead a normal life. She said that it was always a problem which she couldn’t ever really find an answer to.

However, that there was one occasion where she wanted to go shopping, but was worried about the unwanted attention of fans. But she went out with a friend, and for half an hour she pretended that she was just plain ‘Barbara’who’d never done anything remarkable in her life and couldn’t even sing.

She was able to carry this on for about half an hour; AND NOBODY NOTICED HER. Until she switched back to superstar Barbara and all of a sudden people started to point and look and notice her.

So when we’re talking about self belief, could it be as simple as changing your thoughts? Is it as simple as that??

Marilyn Monroe used the same trick when she went out walking. If she didn’t want anyone to notice her, she’d revert back to Norma Jean Baker; but the minute she became Marilyn that changed and she’d have people swarming around her.

What thoughts do you regularly hold in your mind about WHO you are? Stop for a minute. Please.

What have you been thinking about today. What have you been saying to yourself? Who do YOU imagine you are when you walk into a room? What posture do you adopt – are you thinking and feeling like the head of your organisation, even if it is just you running your business from your spare bedroom? Do you treat yourself like a professional, an expert. Or are you thinking that you’re not good enough, and that everyone else must be much more successful or accomplished than you? Do you put yourself down and constantly compare yourself to others in a scratched record kind of way? Or are your thoughts filled with fretting about last month’s sales figures or that disappointing meeting you’ve just had?

What if you decided today that you were going to BE who you wanted to BECOME, and chose to be that person from now on. We all have dreams of our ultimate lifestyle, but change starts from within the quality of your thoughts on a daily basis. OK if you’re a little skeptical about this, just humour me and be that person just for today.

Just for today try that notion on for size and see what changes. Because I know that when you do – people will pick this up at such a quantum level and like a ripple effect, your energy will spread through the room and the dynamics of your conversations change.

AND if you made a decision to reprogramme your thoughts, do you really need other people to keep telling you how amazing you are – when you already know? On an energetic level just reflect on how much stronger your ego will be, and how the energy of your ego will be expanding and connecting with other postive energies and drawing them to you – leading to new connections, meetings, opportunities and new ideas which will all serve to grow your business in an entirely new and exciting way.

So, just for today. Do it as an experiment. Let me know what happens.

Tags: andrew lloyd webber, change management, confidence, coping with adversity, debt management, discover yourself on the yellow brick road, dorothy, over the rainbow, redundancy, resolution coaching, self belief, self employment, self esteem, starting a business, wendy dashwood-quick, working from home

The Lion’s Guide To Courage Under Fire

March 21, 2010 in Uncategorized by Wendy | 2 comments

As Andrew Lloyd Webber begins his search for Dorothy in his new production of The Wizard of Oz, I’m featuring a series of blogs which explore the key challenges faced by the principle characters in this story.

I begin with the Lion’s search for COURAGE and why this could desert us in times of trouble.

Let’s take Louisa Lyons – the contemporary character who appears in my book. She’s being bulled by her boss, but feels powerless to do anything about this. Despite being a fearless sportswoman in her spare time – she’s a completely sissy at work and lets her boss walk all over her.

But what is courage and where do you find it when you need it, when you’re under fire…?

For instance what do you need to carry on when you’ve been made redundant, after a relationship breakdown or death, trying something you’ve never tried before, launching a new concept or idea, dealing with difficult or aggressive people, overcoming and handling debt?

I’ve come up with 9 ideas…if you have another to add, I’d like to hear from you

Courage is…

Quiet dignity. Its remaining calm and poised, when all around you are running around like headless chickens
Acting decisively. Sometimes the only way to solve a persistent problem is to refuse to tolerate any situation that compromises your values. But this will require the courage to stand up for what you believe in, which may require you to stick your head above the parapet to court controversy. But isn’t it more exciting to be known for being a bit daring…rather than a sheep?
Taking responsibility for your own actions, and resisting the temptation to take the easy way out. Pointing the finger or blaming external circumstances for your own misfortune only wastes time doesn’t it – time you could be spending on solving the problem.
Accepting and adapting to change. Sometimes it can be hard to accept that if something isn’t working you may need to consider changing directions, letting go and starting again
Standing up for yourself. Why run with the pack or allow others to make decisions on your behalf? I’ve learnt that to my cost. If you accept that your job is to work at becoming better at being YOU, nobody can do that job better than you can.
Acceptance. To achieve our objectives may mean leaving behind people who don’t validate, support or encourage you. If others don’t believe in you or are working on their own agenda to compensate for their own shortcomings, does that really serve you?
Moving out of your comfort zone and trying something new, sometimes without really knowing or having the comfort or certainty in the outcome.
Pressing on despite fear, pain, disappointment and loss. Because in the end, quitting isn’t always the best solution. As they say, pain is temporary – quitting lasts forever…
Listening to your inner voice (no matter how quiet that may be), paying attention to it, trusting it and having the guts to go with your gut
Fill in the blank…what do you think courage is…?

I welcome your comments and observations

Tags: andrew lloyd webber, confidence, coping with adversity, coping with debt, courage, discover yourself on the yellow brick road, dorothy, finding your purpose, getting over redundancy, getting through a divorce, resolution coaching, wendy dashwood-quick, wizard of oz

How To Write Your First Report Or White Paper

March 15, 2010 in Uncategorized by Wendy | No comments

Those of you who know me well know that “Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road”, a book that took me two years to write.

But what you probably don’t realise is that in fact, it didn’t start out to be a book at all. It started out as a marketing exercise. I went on a course to learn how to create products so that my clients could sample my work and get to know me through my materials. Writing is an opportunity for me to share my knowledge instead of keeping it all in my head.

I’ve spent the best part of 15 years reading and learning about self development. One day I woke up one morning and thought “look Wendy, stop reading other people’s material and start writing your own!”. But since I’ve published my book loads of people have been asking me “how did you do that!?” So I thought I’d share a few of my secrets with you, so that you can get going on your own materials and in so doing promote your own expertise – therefore raising your profile and crediblity in your own field.

So, if you’re struggling to get started here’s a few tips

If you are writing something with a specific target audience in mind. Mindmap the sort of challenges that your clients are facing. Don’t censor your thoughts, just get a big piece of paper, coloured pens and download your ideas from your brain. When you think you’ve finished, keep going because sometimes the longer you do this the better the ideas become.
If you’re still not clear then carry out a survey and use the responses to add to your mindmap and complete the content
Once you’ve got your mindmap take every key word out and put that into a list
Look at this list and see if there are any words that could be put into common groups, or themes
From these thems will come your headings – for instance you could have something that says “The 7 Biggest Challenges that Pig Farmers Face”
Then go ahead and write everything that comes into your mind under these 7 headings – don’t aim for perfection, just write, write, write. One tip is to type this on your computer – but turn off the monitor so that you’re not tempted to edit or change anything. You can edit it all later
Prepare a 20 page e-book. Feel free to ‘borrow’ the formatting from my e-book you downloaded from my website. However, before you publish it make sure you get some feedback from a respected person who will tell you straight what could be improved.
If you’re stuck or have writers block – then here’s a fantastic book which tackles this very problem. ‘Blocks’ has been written by Tom Evans who specialises in helping people unleash their book and get it published. http://publishingacademy.com/buy/guidebooks/blocks/

So, what are you waiting for? Good luck and let me know how it’s going

Warmest regards

Wendy

p.s. Got any comments on this – I’d love to hear them!

Tags: blocks, creative writing, discover yourself on the yellow brick road, how to write a book, how to write an e-book, procrastination, resolution coaching, wendy dashwood-quick, writers block, writing